I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize