Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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