we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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