What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
