some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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