i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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