i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
