just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
