I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
