So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
