so explain again why im purple
no
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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