suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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