I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
