At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
