how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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