someone get that fucking seahorse.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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