we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Actions speak louder than pants.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Randomize
