i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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