after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
