Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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