we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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