yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
