Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
