My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
