Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
