if i can run in heels then i can drive
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
