Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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