so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Randomize
