Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
either way he was missing a nipple.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize