rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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