he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
