I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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