i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
