He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
My life is pants optional.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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