I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
