Kiss
Puke
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Floor bacon is actually really good
Dicks are not precious.
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