is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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