She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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