i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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