C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
