Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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