You just made me feel so damn special
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
