I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
