had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
