My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
