on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
