He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
