tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
