Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
