somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
