I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize