My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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