If that was your dad, he is hot
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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