Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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