Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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