i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Randomize
