apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
is wine microwaveable?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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